You did what?!

Matt left last week at 2AM to drive to the cape for a fishing trip on a good friends boat. He arrived home that night about 9PM with some great stories and pics. I'm a borderline worrier. If I allowed myself to think about the dangers of Matt's job hanging off of roofs all day long and recreational outings in the middle of the Atlantic with no cell phone reception, I'd have to be heavily sedated. He's a smart man and I trust his judgement so I don't allow myself to worry too much. And then he comes home with a story that goes a little like this; him hanging off the back of a fishing vessel, hooked into a 900lb tuna that pulled him overboard enough so that his entire upper body was underwater and his friend grabbed onto his legs pulling him back into the boat. The best part of that story? He never let go of the fish and they landed the dam thing! Now do you see why I can't allow myself to worry? If I thought of that crap every time he went out fishing I'd have to be in a coma to let him go. The smile on his face and the laugh he lets out while telling that story actually makes me happy, I know I'm twisted, but he loves it! How can you not be happy for the person you love to have such a great day doing something that makes him that happy? OK that said; it will be an entirely different story when Kyle wants to go.....ugh!

I'm a HUGE slacker, I know

I need to make more time for Blogging and less time for Bejewled Blitz I see! A month, really! Yikes. Let's see; where should I begin.

Kyle is a pre-schooler and successfully at that. The 1st day went really well, he got all dolled up, rolled his Diego backpack around and posed for pics like a champ. Daddy and Papa Billy Bob came with us for 1st day drop-off and it helped us both out a lot. I was VERY sad......very very very sad. I choked back my tears and put on a happy face for my little boy and actually never allowed myself to turn on the water works at all, even after I left the school. His teacher is amazing. I got a great, comforting feeling from her right away which is good feeling. He was given his own little cubby for his belongings with his picture on it and he went right for the sand table to play. Once his attention was on playing I kissed him on the head and quietly creptout the door. The following 4 hours were very strange for me. All I kept thinking about was "is he OK", "wonder what he's doing now", "I hope he's not crying" and I did break down and call to make sure he was fine. The teacher told me that he had a moment when he noticed I had left and cried a bit, but them found the sticky blocks and built a rocket ship. He was so excited to see me when I went to pick him up!!!! I don't get that often from him because he's not all the often away from me and when he is he's with his other most favorite people in the world so he never really misses me at all. He made friends, made arts & crafts, sat quietly during story time, played outside and learned about apples all in one morning and he was tired.

The next few drops offs were a little bit more difficult, it wasn't new and exciting anymore, now it was just "Mommy's not staying with me" and it made him sad. Every day has gotten a little bit easier and this week on Tuesday he was waiting at the door with his backpack wanting to leave early because his bestest friend in the whole world Bella was going that day too. I warned his teacher that the two of them were going to melt her heart when she saw how much they love each other. They sat together during story-time holding hands saying how much they love the other one and during the day if they lost track of each other one would always seek out the other to check -in. I have never seen a friendship at 3 years old like Kyle and Bella.

So he's got about 10 days at school under his belt now and he's doing really well. Brings home art and stories that filter out of him throughout the day, new songs, dances and new friends. I'm very proud of him.

Warning; the following may cause you to laugh very hard

Shiners for fishing with Daddy at the lake $5.00

Sunscreen for staying staying safe in the sun $9.75

A photo shoot while doing your business before take -off "priceless"

* *Footnote : Kyle, I apologize in advance for the embarrassment this might cause you someday!

My baby boy is 3!

Everyone warns a new mother to hang onto every moment with your new child because they certainly grow too fast....and you heed the warning soaking up every snuggle, kiss, hug and boo boo thinking to yourself "I'm not going to miss a beat". Then they turn 3 and all you can think is "where the hell has the past 3 years gone?" OK, in all fairness I have been blessed with a situation that has allowed me to spend all my time with Kyle since he was born and I am thankful to say that I have been with him for each milestone thus far, touching up the boo boo's, savoring the snuggles and helping him to learn and explore. The truth is that it still goes by very quickly and maybe it's that "time flies when you are having fun" or that life can really just pass you by. At any rate, I've enjoyed every moment thus far and look forward to the years to come. I can honestly say that at moments I can hardly remember what it was like to have a newborn and that at each and every stage of development so far I've claimed it to be the best. That said " this age is the best"! Kyle is a great kid. He's bright, he's great company, adorable, friendly, loving, a pest, a challange, a question box, a wise butt. He's my proudest accomplishment hands down and I love him dearly. Being a Mom, stay at home or otherwise is without a doubt the toughest job there is. The manual labor is what it is, but the emotional work far exceeds any position I've ever held with a company. Knowing that virtually every decision I make will affect him in one way or another can be a scary feeling and an empowering one at the same time. I've always found myself a bit out of place in life as far as "where do I belong" but being Kyle's Mom is by far the most comfortable place I've ever been and it just keeps getting better! We are sending Ky off to a couple mornings a week of pre-school this fall and my pro & cons list is 50/50 right down the middle! I'll miss the hell out of him even for those 8 hours a week, he'll be with a virtual stranger doing things without me, he'll be making friends and learning new things and won't need me to help him and wholly hell does that tug at the heartstrings, even as I write it. However, he'll be making new friends and learning new things, having fun and he won't need me to be there with him...and wholly hell that makes me proud.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Kyle James!